It didn’t start when Henry-the-iPhone’s owner Joe decided to go eco. No, it went way back. It started when he and Joe fought about sound amplification. Henry’s sound output was never “good enough” for Joe.
Then Joe found eco-amp. For just US$7.99, Joe bought about $0.15 worth of materials and packaging, basically stuff he already had in his recyclables bin so Henry could be louder.
All the other phones started making fun of him because of his owner’s predilection for putting him into hippie gear, like this cardboard kilt. Worse, the kilt kept falling off every time his owner put Henry’s Home button in the down position.
Henry couldn’t imagine it being more embarrassing than that, especially since all the other iPhones were looking at him with their new-gen high-def cameras. “Did you see what he’s wearing?” all the phones messaged each other. “Could it get any more utilikilt?”
Henry sniffed back. “You’re just suffering from amplifier envy,” he pointed out. Fortunately, this solution wasn’t nearly as bad as Joe’s previous (but less public) entry into the eco-friendly world of iPhone amplification. The eco-amp may be embarrassing, but it’s was an Armani tux compared to that toilet paper tube.
Henry sighed. He appreciated how hard Joe worked to find ecologically friendly add-ons for his glass, metal, and silicon components, all of which would eventually find themselves in some land fill. All told, though, he wished Joe would just go with some of the other less embarrassing solutions: ones that wouldn’t undercut him with that cute virtual assistant.